Fragment of Silver
by Venka's Sister
Summary: After AC, Kadaj didn't die with Loz and Yazoo and now is living on his own under the Cloud watch team. How can Kadaj change with his new mother and move forwards in life with his past haunting him? New enemy comes for him and he loses paying a price.NP
1. Falling

Falling…

This story focuses on Kadaj and this continues after AC. I guess it is slight AU sense he didn't die after the battle but I think there is much more to Kadaj so here is my fic.

This is in first person present and Kadaj's thoughts are in _italicized_.

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Falling….

_Falling…_

_I felt myself falling. _

_I feel the burning flames all around me, in my body._

_I hit the ground but don't. I land on something but it was still dark in my world._

_I don't want to open my eyes for He may be there. The one that mother loves so much more than me or my brothers._

_He burns so hot and if mother wants him more than me then I'll be what she wants. _

_I can feel the sunlight beaming on me but it not bright on my face or I'd see all red. I open my eyes and there is a bright light coming at me through blond hair. Oh… it is brother Cloud. He is beloved by mother as well though he doesn't want it. Looking up at him from his arms, it's so bright like it turning white. Wetness; it fell on my face but from where? It is rain but the sun is out, above me. I look into big brother's face but he doesn't look mad only irritated as usual with a sad look too. He is the last thing I see before every thing goes white. _

_I wake up in a bed of flowers as in that church where I recovered mother, and became one with my other. I look around and its pure white I spin around and still nothing but white. I feel my chest get tighter as I look for something or anybody. Then I spot something lying in the flowers. I walk up to it tap it lightly with my foot. It groans? I turn it over and see it Yazoo but he hurt. He seems to be sleeping because I see he's still breathing as his chest rises and falls. I sit him up and try to hake him awake but he doesn't stir at all, very unlike Yazoo who hardly ever sleep especially around others. _

_I hear something behind me and I see Loz kneeling in the flowers but he not crushing any around him. I look around me and see that the flowers that were under Yazoo aren't crushed either but they are soft as if a pillow or something. I lay Yazoo back down and stride toward Loz and as I get closer I see that he bleeding bad and clutching a wound in his chest. When I reach him he doesn't acknowledge me as I squat down in front of him. There is blood on the perfect flowers and it dripping out of his chest. I put some between my finger and rubbing them together on my leather covered fingers. He lifts his head and looks at me with tears in his eyes about to fall. I take me hand that was dipped in blood and wipe under his eyes, "Don't cry Loz." But this time I feel sincere. He let out a low laugh and falls on his side eyes closed and tears falling down his cheeks. _

_I feel so at loss; I don't know what to do now. I stand up and look around but, I see nothing except white and these accursed flowers. I decide to go over to Yazoo's body and put next to Loz's as I straightened him out to lay flat. I am not one for sentimental things but Yazoo looks like old teacher full of knowledge but with his hair spread out under him it looks like he is lying on silk. I look at Loz and see a big child that can throw a tantrum. That awful hole in his chest catches my attention as I see something inside the wound. It is a shallow wound so I ran my gloved hand over the wound and felt a solid object in his chest. I inspected it and pulled out a small stone or pebble that was embedded in his chest. _

_It glowed with an odd color but I feel a sense of bliss from looking at it. _

"It is a pretty pebble you have there, Kadaj." I spin around and see this women face in front of me smiling at me with a kind smile.

"Who are you? And how did my brother and I get here? How do you know me name? I have never meet you before." I stood up looking her in the eye.

"Oh, I am Aeris. I know you and your brother because I watch after my dear friend Cloud after I was killed years ago. I help him and that why I'm here for you, Kadaj." She swung her hands behind her back and leaned back smiling.

She wore a pink everywhere with a huge pink ribbon in her hair. She reminds me of someone but I can't remember. "So you are here to take care of my brothers and me?"

"Umm. No, I'm only here for you because you are destined to do more things and you are still young, flexible and I think that you will be able to live in the world without Jenova there to hurt you. I cannot help your brothers though," she shakes her head sadly, "they can't be brought back but you must be able to go on without them even at you are lonely or depressed. They're ready to leave I guess and they left to protect you. I can't revive them but I can make so you can see them but only here. Their bodies have already gone back to the life stream while yours is still on the planet below us; hypothetically that is. I guess we are floating."

She sure seems to tell the truth but what I am to do without them with me. "What should I do once I back now? I have no purpose now with mother telling what to do." I didn't mean for it to come out whiny but it sounded childish after I said it.

"Well if you need a mother, I can be your mother now. I already watch after Cloud and all my friends still living. Eehhh! I have also been the mother type so I'm told but I did have a chance. I think I could make a much better mother than Jenova you know. I have a whole body, I care about you not what you do for me and I think that Zack would be okay if I took care of another one."

"Stop! This is too much. Stop talking!" I cover my ears so I won't hear anymore. I just don't know what I suppose to do. Darn I can feel my eyes watering but I'm not sad or hurt so why would I cry especially in front of this strangely kind woman.

"Oh. I am sorry. I did mean to overwhelm you. Please don't cry Kadaj I'm here for you." Then Aeris opened her arms and wrapped them around me. I feel warm in her arms it so queer but I do want to leave it. I feel the tears running do my face but they are irrelevant now. She smells like the flowers but with a bit of her own smell as if she is the original and the flowers smell like her. Inhaling the scent I feel at ease but as I exhale the breathe turns into a sob, then sobs.

"Why ... (sob) I am... crying? (sob)"

She pulls away without breaking the embrace, "Those are tears of happiness, Kadaj. Your heart's happy that why you are crying. It is okay to cry those; so cry Kadaj cry as much as you need.

Then I close my eyes and slept without nightmare or anything at all for the first time.

--

This is a re-do I kind of beta'd it myself and I hope that I fixed most of the problems. Please review! 

Oh, I am using queer as in wierd not a gay person, okay. I just wanted to make that clear.


	2. Waking Rebirth

AN//Wow this was a long time the next is being worked on now that its summer please keep reading if you have started it good but it its author that cannot type it fast enough.

Oops! found sme mistakes and I fixed them. I really need a beta. :)

Now it is third person again while Kadaj's thought in _italics_. Sorry if it was confusing at 1st it was written as if it was happen right then and Kadaj was reacting to it sorry if that was odd and for any grammar mistakes.

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII or Kadaj would have lived

Kadaj woke up on an uncomfortable mattress. He sat up looking around in his surrounding was a cell, something he was use to as a child apart from this holding cell wasn't pristine white and had character. It was grey with barred door as like it would stop someone from leaving, not Kadaj, that is he wanted to. He just wanted to know where he was at. He sat there surveying his surrounding. The last thing he remembered was in that white room with… Ms. Aerith. _Well that sounded weird_ , Kadaj thought to himself because he had never addressed someone with respect like that except Mother.

_Was it all a dream? It was so real, I felt it._

_No. It was really for what she said she is there but not like Aniki inside my soul._

_She held me and told me I supposed to do something but how will I want to do. Will she ask the same as old mother? No she said that she would act like a real mother instead. _

_It was true as Yazoo and Loz aren't here with me and I don't feel them though our link. Then they must be died as mother showed my in my dream. I can still smell it. The smell of flowers. _

Kadaj snaps back when he hears someone approaching his cell. He sat up on the cot, with his feet over the side as he faced the barred wall waiting for his new, probably first, visitor. A young woman in a tan uniform walked up to the bars not looking up really until she noticed that she was being observed. The woman looked up at the silver-headed teen sitting on the cot in the intense holding cell like he was a child watch a circus or caged a animal though the bars.

"You… you're awake?" the woman asked stepping back.

"Yes. Where am I actually, m'am?" Kadaj voice came out a bit scratchy at first from lack of uses it, but it soon returned to in the smooth, effortless tone it usually had.

The women, caught off guard by his politeness, stuttered "Uh, you are in a holding cell aboard the airship, Shera pilot by Cid Highwind. I'm Nara and I will be seeing to you on your stay upon the airship." Nara nodded her head toward him in the affirmative with herself out of pride. Kadaj was surprised but not so much as he would be rescued by someone but not by the people he had been fight for mo… Jenova. Cloud must have got him back to the ship after he became lost to this world. Kadaj mind began to zoom about what he was going to do here now and get of the airship without doing anything 'evil' or something that would be disapproved by them upon the ship.

Kadaj sat there think stare at the bar not really paying much attention to Nara to her surprise, but not that she wanted either. She just stood there paralyzed by his stare until she could take at anymore. "I'm going to go sir, tell me if there is anything you may need."

"Nara, could you tell them that I am awake?" The teen said to the woman in a soft tone but forced tone.

Nara agreed and left the brig of the airship leave Kadaj again to his own thoughts. He wasn't a social person he preferred to be just with his brothers and sisters but none were here now. Kadaj wasn't a mean person by any means but he didn't truly think about the people he hurt all that much since this just clogged his brain with thing that hindered him form search for Jenova and find people that we help them on his way. Now that he had accomplished his life goal he didn't know how to proceed. His whole life and existence was based on get what he thought Jenova wanted as he heard her inside of him along with the man who he was to duplicate.

Kadaj stayed there for hours before anyone came to see him again. He was never one to worry over trivial things such as where he was go to live after his job was done or what he was to do outside of being a soldier to Shinra and avoiding being punished for all things that human had ruined. Now he felt he could just fall off the earth and was overly depressed. He sat and contrived a way he could be something else other than what he was told to be.

He was trained to kill so what should he do now that he had no target or enemy? He could always be a hit man and kill for a living. Kadaj smiled to himself for thinking of something so ingenious, but soon disappeared when a tremor went though his body leading straight to his head. The ache it caused was severe as the ones he used to get when his thoughts strayed from his instructions.

Kadaj figured that he could find his talent else where being that he was to be the perfect being as well. The he got up off his new bed and walked around his new cage. There were several jobs that required no skill what so ever he was sure.

* * *

Now some man came to talk to Kadaj but without Nara this time. He looked like a doctor expect his face wasn't as mean or distant like the other that had come to see him the past. 

"You're Kadaj, correct?" he said. "You were one of the trio clones that tried to being the destruction back."

"That is me, but since you know me, may I ask who you are?" Kadaj examined the doctor. His blue-green eyes scan him though his silver bangs.

The man said with a smirk, "I'm Dr. Lucas, but I here to see what should be done about you now that awakened and many aren't sure if you are still a threat to be dealt with. Don't worry; I am not interested in human experiments. So if you would prefer to tell how you have been changed or not it's fine with me."

The man didn't seem untrustworthy to him but he could trust him completely as something inside his head. "Fine. What are you here for exactly to see if I'm crazed or in need of _guidance _from the evil side of the lifestream?" Kadaj said firmly looking at the man.

"More so or less, yes."

"As I thought."

The doctor then took his keys from his pocket and unlocked the cell. Dr. Lucas walked in leaving the door right open and began examining Kadaj. Kadaj laid on the cot and looked at the door, confusion dominating his countenance. "That is careless of you, doctor to leave the cell door open like that. I could just leave right now. Why leave me the option?"

"I'm not as weak as I may look people tell me and I doubt that you would do that. It would only make more of a threat and you want out so you would be good and show how much you have changed to persuade the captain and WRO members to let you go."

"You are not of the World Regenesis Organization?" (A/N: is it?)

"No, I here to make sure everything rules smoothly and work closely with WRO. Please stay still as I go over you with this scanner." Dr. Lucas pulled out a scanner, much like a radio and waved it down the teen's body. "You seem to be alright but you need to eat more or you become terribly malnourished and have to stay hospitalized in a facility" He looked somewhat concerned about it but soon got over it and gained a calm demeanor.

Kadaj sat up swing around, one leg underneath him other hanging off the edge, "Anything else? I don't usually eat much it a hassle to get the food on the way. I have never eaten more that necessary."

"Well you need to because you have a high metabolism and the food you have been eating isn't enough. What and when was the last time you ate before being abroad this ship exactly?"

Kadaj ruminated on minute moment guessing at about five days before a sandwich with loads of water as it there. Lucas was not very congratulating about Kadaj's eating habits so he advice the silver-blonde teen to eat more because he was still a teenager in adolescence by age standards. The doctor left as Nara came back inside. He stopped her, telling her that the inmate would need more food than he was getting now. Nara nodded and Dr. Lucas went on with whatever he was supposed to do on the ship.

Nara walked over to the cell and saw that it was still unlocked, rolled her eyes at the carelessness of the young doctor. "You really don't need to lock it now. I'm not trying anything." He said looking straight at her.

"We try to be careful about these things here and is standard that a criminal be locked up even if he is benign. How would it look if you were walking around saying hello to everyone in the fleet like you didn't try to bring destruction and kidnap children for whatever reason." Nara rolled her eyes with a sassy attitude showing her true age. Kadaj sat there gawking again to get her attention, "It was a statement no need for a long-winded explanation and scenario; right?"

The girl blushed and tried to defend herself, but abruptly change the subject to food and what he would like.

"Are you suppose to ask what people especially prisoner what they what? You should be more aggressive since you over me in status act like." Kadaj snapped at her then looked confused with himself. Nara backed away from the cell, but then gathered her nerves together and step forward.

"I'm trying to make you comfortable and it is my choice not your for how I act, now since you acted like this you have two choice now; tuna or salmon fish."

"What the difference? They are both fish from the sea." Kadaj responded.

"There are many differences, as in taste, texture, and cooking style. I'll bring a small thing of both to prove the contrast." Nara marched out proudly with determination.

Moments later she had returned with a tray baring plates of fish. She bought to the cell door and put the tray through the food slot. Kadaj got up off the bed and stepped to the cell wall and picked up the food. "Try the one on the right. That is tuna." Nara said with fortitude. Kadaj raised his eyebrow at her with distain. He picked a fork, that happened to be plastic, and scooped some up and delivered it to his mouth. He chewed it for a minute or two. Kadaj had to admit it did taste good but it wasn't like the last time he tasted fish and a hint of lemon.

"Now try the salmon. Oh, they were both cooked with lemon and pepper." Nara relaxed stance with shifting her weight from left to right. The younger then eat the next sample. They had different tastes and salmon won out but tuna left an after-taste.

"They are quite different and unique, aren't they" Kadaj was thinking to himself more so, but Nara decided to answer. "Yes, they come from different place and start of different from each other. The tuna is born in the sea and stay there until they die while salmon is born in a river of fresh water and matures enough to go to the sea but eventually come back to the river to lay eggs again. They may be fish but they are very different because of where they live and behavior, like humans."

"You talk too much Nara." Kadaj stated with a smirk. "You're right now can you please leave me to think alone?" The silver-haired beauty peered though his bangs in a most hypnotizing way that persuaded Nara to stop talking and nod in assent. She left and immediately came back to tell him goodnight.

Kadaj went to his cot near the metal wall and laid down on top of the sheets. He at first tired to fall asleep thinking of the past and before he knew it he was realized he had probably made to more friends that were extremely different form himself. He began to think about the future again but this time he was as alone as he thought.


	3. Day of Purgatory

Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me except for the one's I have made up and don't steal my story. A/N: Kadaj's thoughts are _italicized. _

Chapter Three: Day of Purgatory.

Kadaj found himself in the white again. It was just yellow flowers. He saw and smelled their powerful aroma. They calmed him. They were brilliant in comparison with the white landscape. Kadaj stood in the flowers and let his senses take in his surroundings.

"Hello Kadaj. Dreaming is nice isn't it?" Aerith's voice came over him. He opened his eyes but he did not remember closing them. There was no one in front of him. He scanned the horizon but there was nothing but white.

"I bet you haven't slept like this for a while." Her voice behind him. Aerith's shoulders touching his back. He turned around suddenly to see her facing him with a sad smile.

"Ms. Aerith, it's a dream which means it nothing but my active subconscious making up things." Kadaj said as if it was an absolute fact.

"So now I don't exist. That what you're tell me. You were content before this, with me. What has changed?" Aerith said with her hand on her hip.

"This isn't real. I just see you when I sleep. And if you can prove that you are real then show me my brothers and his man you spoke of before." Kadaj said eyeing her with eyes swirling with confusion and anxiety in his green mako eyes.

Aerith stared too before letting out a sigh, "So I was going to have to show them to prove to you. I was going to show you anyway, Mister Rush. Your brothers aren't here they are else were but you can't see them yet, but I can show you Zack."

Aerith waved her hand beckoning someone from behind Kadaj. Kadaj turned his head and saw no one there. He raised an eyebrow as he was surprised before he heard Aerith giggle behind him. His eyes narrowed. He didn't like to be played with. He turned to face Aerith and was greeted by a second face he didn't recognize.

"This is Zack. He is a wonderful man and takes care of me not to get lonely in here." Aerith said with a smile as Zack hugged her from behind.

"Hi there. You must be Kadaj that Aerith told of me yesterday." He held out his hand to the confused yet suspicious Kadaj. Kadaj looked at his hand then back to Zack face with a face that said, 'Who do you think you are?'

"I have never seen you before. Why are you here if …" 'this is a dream.' That last part omitted.

"Well since I'm here for you, Zack promised too, as our last ward looks as if he doesn't need the help as much as you do." Aerith said stepping all around Kadaj in what looked like a single step. "We are here to help Kadaj, but you must accept it and believe on your own. You can't ask me about everything but do some things, okay."

Kadaj looked somewhat cross but hurt, too. "Hey, Kadaj you have to face lots of things and you lead to wake up, too. Sleeping all day is lazy. Ask Cloud about me, he'll know"

Zack winked and Kadaj's world went black and he awoke back in the cell abroad the Shera.

The world was out of focus as he came to in his dank cell. Glancing at the wall next to him, he laid there stare with his hands by his sides. He thoughts were blank excluding the whispers of "why's" and "what's" that would come to mind.

"Uh, this is ridiculous" Kadaj's hair fell into his face as he sat up on the cot. He pushed his hair back with his gloved hand, frustrated. This isn't how thing should be. His eternal clock told it was early morning but later than when he used to wake up. It looked the same as it did yesterday.

Kadaj stood up and graceful stretched out his kinks in his back from lay on the stiff cot. He adjusted his leather assembly. It was sticking to his skin from night sweats. He sighed as he unzipped his jacket and peeled it off his shoulders. He hated to sweat in his clothes as they were the only ones he had for a while. He let the top half fall down to his waist.

Kadaj glared down at the cot in front of him but the turned to look at his torso which he truly hated. It was smooth, with pale scars from labs to fights he had been in. But actually the worst was that it was too smooth; just skin all the down. Unlike most he did have a belly button like most, but a circle surrounding four scars where he had been connected to something but he knew he wasn't born like normal humans.

He thought back to the doctor and how he did say anything the day before. The young man, lost in his own world, didn't notice that someone walking the hall of his cell until they stopped at his cell door. Kadaj turned his head to see Nara standing in WRO uniform as she had been wearing yesterday.

"G'morning, Kadaj. I assume that you are hungry now seeing you didn't eat much yesterday. You will be having eggs and toast this morning. Do you have any objections?" Nara said keeping her face very serious up until she began to smirk, giving herself away. Nara was not designed to be serious or commanding. Kadaj found slightly amusing but all around foolish.

Kadaj rolled his eyes before turning to Nara; "No, Nara, I have no objections." his voice smooth and docile as his face stayed over all pleasant. He liked games to if she was going to play with an expert in falsehood.

The young woman glanced in the cell seeing the prisoner bare skin and blush rose on her cheeks. Kadaj really did not notice it, but decide to pull his top back up, becoming suddenly self-conscious.

Kadaj turned completely around to face her, "Could you bring it here or am I going to be going out to the kitchen, Nara?" Kadaj inquired in the same tone as before but coated with sarcasm.

"No you can't. Why don't you stay here till I get back?" She was acting childish but she couldn't help but playful taunt this man. Kadaj watched her turn on her heels and walk toward the door. He waited impatiently her return plagued with an emotion unknown and he was hated it. It like an alarm was going off in his head.

The black-haired young woman returned with a tray of food that in turn was pushed into Kadaj's cell into his waiting hands. He took the tray and looked at the mushy eggs and brown toast.

'This certainly looks "great", but who am I to complain about? I'm the prisoner here.' Kadaj thought making him angry, but he squashed it and all that was felt was a lonely slightly empty feeling. Kadaj walked over to his cot and sat with the tray in his lap. He tore off some of the toast, putting the dry, stiff bread in his mouth. It tasted just how it looked, crusty. He ate all of breakfast quietly with his 'company'. Nara stood in front the cell patiently watching. It slow annoyed the silver-haired teenager but he ignored her as he ate.

"Kadaj you are expecting a visit from Dr. Lucas later today and I have been told that this will be my last time to see you as well." Nara said, disappointed. Kadaj frowned at her but nodded instead. He wanted to ask why but he could figure it out. They didn't want anyone around him too much for too long. There was always the chance that he could use or hurt her if she became to close to her prisoner. The teen stood up and placed the tray back through the slot into waiting hands.

"I understand. Well hopefully we will see each other again, Nara. When will Lucas be coming?" Kadaj spoke with his usual charming tone. He stood tall at the entrance of the cell facing the WRO soldier.

"He will be here in a couple hours at the most. You will have to wait 'til after he done checking on the sick bay. He told me to tell you he has some questions to ask you, that's all. So behave for the doctor; he is an amiable and kind-hearted person." Nara took the tray and balanced in one hand while she stuck her hand in the bars. Kadaj looked at her confused. This woman should be scared of him somewhat if she knew what he could do. Just placing her hand in the bar, he could have killed her in a moment. He took her hand anyway and shook it in a tight grip. He squeezed it to he heard it crack then abruptly let it go and let his gloved hand fall to his side.

Nara looked at him in shock holding her aching hand. "You should think before you do things like that, Nara. It could be dangerous with someone else, but I wasn't going to hurt you; just teaching you a lesson." Kadaj said in a serious tone, face unchanged. Bluish-green meet a misty-gray, as Kadaj looked at her. Nara looked away to her feet with new interest. The young woman nodded her head and stepped back.

Kadaj felt somewhat bad for the woman. It wasn't her fault that she thought that people were good. He could understand naiveness from when he was younger, but now he would not trust anyone.The silver-haired man stood gazing at nothing through the bars. His attention turned to Nara as she suddenly turned and walked down the hallway. His eyes followed her to the door and watched as she disappeared leaving him alone … again.

He stood against the bars, arms crossed across his chest. Kadaj had nothing else to do but wait for the doctor to come to him. So there he waited, standing unmoved, for hours until he heard the door open. He looked sideward as normal looking male WRO soldier escorted Dr. Lucas down the hallway. The cell slide open with clink after the guard stepped away allow the physician inside the cell.

Good to see this afternoon, Kadaj." Lucas said with a smile. " You seem well as possible, but there are some things I want to talk to you about. Please sit..." Kadaj peered at him sideways on his left side. Kadaj noticed that hair covered the right side of his face had gotten longer lately and needed to be washed, but that could wait until later. He stepped forward but made no attempt to sit down. "..or stand. It doesn't matter to me." Lucas eased onto the cot slowly looking at the silvery teen opposite him.

"I was looking over the chart for you and I seem to have hit a snag. It looks as your body can adjust it heat index in order to survive. Is that correct?" Lucas was curious and it showed.

"Yes, I was designed that way. I'm much more advance than most humans that come from the life stream. It so I can fight in anyplace without a disadvantage." Kadaj knew from training he had done at the labs. "It's extremely hard for me to get sick with me immune system too." He added watch the man in front of him. Lucas looked just as intently.

"Hmm, well since you know everything why am I here?" Lucas crossed his left leg over the right. He was just teasing Kadaj and he played along.

"You are just a curious man but you cover it by saying that you do things because you feel _responsibility_ as a doctor to do it. I'm unique and you have probably only heard of the people like me that are created to be bringers of destruction." Kadaj tilted his head to the side look down at the man. The physician smirked and looking serious but his eyes were laughing and bright.

"Am I that simple to read? Well since you already know more than me, I have some advice for you, sleep and eat more regularly now because you really don't need to be up all night thinking. Your brain needs to cool down sometime when it been running with no food in your stomach. I know habits are hard to break but you should try. It doesn't matter what kind of changes were to your system you're still human and need the bare basics." Lucas smile had left his face by the in as he turned into his more professional persona. He stood from the cot and stuffed his hands in his pockets, nodding his head farewell.

Kadaj looked at the doctor as he left, not turning his head in curiosity. He watched the dent in the cot rises, listening to the foot steps of the two men leaving. The door of the hall shut with a thud that echoed though the whole hall. Kadaj didn't move for a minute and stared at the wall in front of him. What was there to do now but wait until something happens? He thought back on the advices that he got from the doctor. He would sleep more if he didn't have dreams about people he had hurt and people he didn't know. His dreams were never very pleasant but some were filled with scenes from the world after Jenova and Sephiroth had been reunited.

Kadaj had trained his body to athletic perfection as a teenage and as a young child. He hadn't thought of it much he had been concentrated on find his mother after he had left Shinra's labs along with his brothers. The well being of his body was never a priority in his head just the fact he could keep going forward with his mother's wishes. He had nothing else to do now but think and sleep. He needed a plan on how he would live if he got out. 'If' being the accentuated word.

Kadaj walked over to his cot and lied down on the mattress. The place where Lucas had sat was still warm and Kadaj was pulled towards the warmth it gave off. He curled on his side warping his arms around his torso. His eyes shifted all over making sure no one could see him in such a weak state, showing vulnerability. He wished he could go back to way things were. Nothing he cared was here anymore nor his purpose.

'_Things won't change now. I'll just live like I did before just without my brothers. Everything will get better and I will be the same, I'll wake up tomorrow and here about my decided punishment.' _

Kadaj went to sleep with this on his mind but, he didn't know how wrong he was.

* * *

Sweet merciful heavens!!! How long has it been since I updated!?! My wrong against you can't be expressed please review Not Flame. Tell ne things that you like and if you find something wrong tell me because I don't have a beta and I edit badly. The next should be up by the end of the month at least, sorry I have lots of stories in the making.

(P.S. Purgatory-cleansing,purify or expiate)


	4. Release on Probation

Hey I know I said the end of November but my uncle died and I was in personal distress about my life and where it was going. It dug up a lot ugly thoughts for me and I haven't been able to write freely. Sorry about the delay. This is probably the last chapter on the ship and I took the ship's interior from Dirge of Cerberus.

Disclaimer: I don't own square enix or any of the characters in their movies or games.

_Kadaj's thoughts_

_/flashbacks from now on/_

Chapter Four: **Release on Probation**

Kadaj slept without any dreams that night. No visits from dream people or people he didn't know. He slept until the morning in the darkness that he was so use to. Before, he would only have dreams when Jenova had task for him to do. Kadaj slept in that blissful state of nothingness until he was roused by a piercing noise outside his cell.

Immediately, he was in high alert, keen senses wary for anything. His eyes scanned everywhere. His head rose out of the crook of his arm to allow him better hearing. Kadaj uncurled from out of his blanket when he heard the clicks of shoes hitting the hard metallic floor. He stretched his lanky arms and legs along the mattress; his muscles screamed as they slapped and expanded from his all-night fetal position. He loved how it felt to have his body scream from pain; strengthen its muscles, gain endurance, and the numbness and sensitivity that came from it afterwards.

Kadaj let his muscle relaxed as he exhaled a breath he hadn't known he was holding. The clicking shoes came to a stop in front of his cell wall. He looked over expecting one of the officers to have his breakfast but he say no food only what looked chained handcuffs. Kadaj's eyes narrowed slightly with contempt at the sight of them, but he really didn't let on much else.

The men jumped when the silver-haired teen jumped of his mattress and was in their faces in less than two steps. Kadaj smiled at their reaction and even let a chuckle slip out just for the fun if it. One of them jumped back at him with a glare, "Hey you better act right or…" the man stopped as Kadaj looked into his eyes with a steely glare that made the soldier's leer seem like a passing glance. The man stood like a statue, waiting for the attack or strike of a predator. The other man came to free him from the menacing leer.

"Prisoner 13457, Kadaj, we have been asked to help transport you to the upper deck, if you abide by our rules. Do you understand what is being instructed of you?" This officer was more composed and under control than his partner. He was blond man that wore more patches and metals than his partner. Kadaj knew that this blond was the real one in charge, just ordering around his subordinate. Kadaj looked at him for a moment, suspicious of the motives. He really detested being stood over, even when it was Loz over his shoulder.

"Why I am being moved? Is there to be an execution or am I being let go? Because I have nowhere to go if they need more time to decide. Nothing, but time to waste." Kadaj voiced heavy with sarcasm. The blond man tilted his head to the side, eyes looking at the ceiling obviously thinking of how to answer the question.

The blond cleared his throat and said, "That's what you'll and all of us are going to find out, along with the rest of the ship." The man smoothed down his breast pocket. A knowing gesture Kadaj recognized. The guard knew what was going to happen to him, but was withholding information. He didn't resist the urge to glare at the man. He stepped back from the cell and stood with his hands outstretched inviting them into the pair of slender limbs.

"Lieutenant Barton, should I open the cell door?" the young man said, looking hesitant to even inch near the Kadaj's cell. Lieutenant Barton nodded his head toward the door in response. The dark haired young man moved in front of the cell and put in the code to open the door.

Kadaj watched as he pushed in the code carefully in case he needed it later, '_Never know when things come handy.'_ He was careful to keep his arms out and perfectly still as he stood. The teenage clone knew that he was also being watched by the other guard. The cell door opened with a clink and the man walked with his hand on his belt. Kadaj eyes only wavered for a moment to his hand before returning back to his face.

Kadaj watched carefully, knowing he was being watched just as attentively. His mako-green eyes never left the person in his cell, but he could feel Lieutenant Barton's presences and eyes. Kadaj wasn't stupid in the head like everyone thought. He looked at the man inside the cell intensively as the he reached into his belt and pulled out the steel handcuffs. Hold each cuff in his hands the brown haired man stood in front of Kadaj.

"Sergeant Giovanni, make sure to put cuffs on his ankles and get those handcuffs on tightly. We don't want one the prisoner to escape on our watch. There is no need to be afraid now. I know prisoner 13457 is curious about his sudden invitation topside. Let's get him out of the cell and up to the deck as soon as possible. Understand, Sergeant?"

Giovanni nodded and began to place the heavy steel handcuffs on his wrist. Kadaj's eyes narrowed as he watched the restraints were placed on his slender wrist. "He's right. I have nowhere to run to even if I did want to escape. Everything is gone along with my family." It was true, so true. He watched as the sergeant went down on one knee in order to put on the ankle restraints.

Giovanni tensed in front of Kadaj. He knew that he was practically defenseless if teen wanted to attack him. Kadaj sighed loudly, flipping hair out of his face, which was a bit hard with heavy weights on each wrist. As Giovanni began to attach the restraints on the teen's ankle Kadaj thought back to what he had said. It was the truth he had nowhere to go in this cell or the world on the outside. He was old hatred in humanly form after all. Kadaj started to drift into a depressing spiral when he was slapped back to reality as soon as the handcuffs were turned on.

This had to be a _modified _version. The already heavy shackles tightened on Kadaj's wrists and ankles making it impossible to slip out. "This is annoying. It's not like I going to kill you? Or am I?" Kadaj said with mischievous glint in his eyes. Giovanni had backed away while Kadaj daydreamed and now was staring the teen like he had grown another head.

"I'm joking, really. I'm cognizant of the situation. I won't hurt anyone in the crew, I swear on my heart." Kadaj stretched his arms in front of him to be lead away, like an obedient captive.

Lieutenant Barton joined the younger men in the cell and addressed them, "Let's get there shall we? Never know what's going to happen until it does." Barton pulled a thick leashed and attached it in between the handcuffs. Giving the leash a slight tug, Barton made sure everything was accounted for before lead Kadaj out of the cell.

Kadaj walked stiffly as he was lead down the hall like a dog in his opinion. Sergeant Giovanni stood behind him, maybe two paces at glance. Kadaj kept his head tilted to the ground watching the feet in front of him marched. When the lieutenant reached the end of the hall he hands opened the door slowly, peeking out and gradually let the people behind him see out in front of him. Barton pulled Kadaj's leash somewhat harshly along as he entered into the hall. Kadaj put up no resistance and walked smoothly despite he shackles and condition.

No one was on the hall as they walked, so Kadaj steadily strode down the hall looking at the blank walls of the walkway. He really wasn't paying much mind to the man behind because, well, there was no point. Giovanni wasn't going to shoot him or hit him upside the head for any reason so why would he pay attention to a tag-along. The group had walked to a door and as soon as it opened the people stopped talking and looked at them; more so Kadaj.

'_Don't they have things to do? I wish these people would stop gawking at me.' _Kadaj looked at them, each one of them, looking them in the eye. Most turned their head away from the piercing mako eyes. Kadaj turned to face all of them looked at through all the crew mates and WRO soldiers, then he did something that surprised everyone in the room.

He bowed. His hair fell forward into his face as he bent at the waist.

There were some gasps and raised eyebrows but a tense air ensnared all onlookers. Kadaj stood erect again and faced Lieutenant Barton who was looking lopsided-look on his face. Kadaj yanked his hands over his head almost pulling the leash out of Barton's hand, but the man slapped back to his professional state of mind.

"Alright, then let's go, kid. We need to get on the deck pronto. Everyone let us though and get back to work…" The man glared at them all, "Now people!" He shouted.

The groups dispersed in a rush going back to the tedious things they nay have been doing. Kadaj was lead again down the hall and they went up to the deck. The door opened on to the deck illuminated with bright sunlight as they flew though the sky, spearing the clouds. Kadaj saw all the clouds as the airship flew against the blue sky. It seemed to him the sky was much too blue than before. It seemed that nothing would be the same anymore.

He stopped cloud-watching and saw the entire Cloud team, or brother's friends he liked to call them, standing and sitting in a circle. Kadaj walked towards them slowly and heard his own heavy footsteps. Everyone looked at him with a frown except for Yuffie, who looked put out in his opinion. That didn't matter though, so he just stared out in front of him. No one spoke as they sat in semicircle facing Kadaj.

The woman named Tifa cleared her throat loudly. Kadaj glanced at her as she stood up. In one swift motion she was in front of him.

"Do you know why you are here, Kadaj? Why you are in front of us, not rotting in a cell God knows where?" Tifa asked as she placed on hand on her hip.

"No. I was left on the dark about what this meeting is about. I am sure that you will tell me, Ms. uh… Tifa, was it?" Kadaj said to her in a civilized tone that was hardly audible. Tifa was taken back by his sudden politeness but she only raised an eyebrow in response.

"That's right and we have decided, after much thought, to have a trail to determine what to do with you. Can you please step into the center of the circle?" Tifa held her hand out to him, beckoning Kadaj forward.

Kadaj walked into the center of the judges. All eyes were on him, but his brother's. He didn't expect them to look at him with a glee though he wished that he would look at him at least.

'_I will be better, I promise brother. I will make you proud of me and see I, too, can be good and amiable.' _Kadaj stood in there his head held high, only without boastful confidence. His heavy handcuffs made his shoulders slump and they had began to ache. It didn't matter that now, he had to remain strong.

"We, this assembly, have had time to think about what will be the best way to deal with you, to be blunt. I really didn't get to interaction with you, personal. I had more time getting to know the tall one. So I don't know much other than what I know about you and the two taller remnants in Edge. I … I mean we …have decided to hear what you have to say to all of your crimes. Reeves, could you please list the criminal record and damage report." Tifa's voice was formal and professional.

Tifa took her sit as Reeves stood and read a long list of damages to the cities, infrastructures, landscapes and of course all the people that were critical hurt or killed. Kadaj squirmed at all the people he had unintentionally hurt and all the things that had been destroyed. He tried to feel bad about it but he just could not feel apologetic toward the people. It was not that he was indifferent to their loss, but he could really feel that loss because he had never really had a home or someplace of importance. It made Kadaj feel as if he had been missing something really important, but buildings were just structures, right? So why did it means some much to people?

The remnant understood the loss of family, though it was a new feeling. _'I guess it would be normal to miss them now. It can't be now.'_

"Do you accept responsibility for all this destruction, Kadaj?" Reeves inquired after reading off the long list. All eyes looked at him as he came back from his daydreaming.

Kadaj's piercing blue-green eyes stared at Reeves while he answered, "I don't know. I never had to worry about the feelings of others except for my brethren. I assume that you want me to take blame, so I shall." Kadaj's face went blank.

"That is," Yuffie said, "not enough, man. You have to feel responsible for it. Try feeling what the people experienced," Yuffie tried to make emphasis about the great important of people lives.

Kadaj lowered his head and murmured, "I know. I try to do what mother says."

"Your mother! Are you still connected to Jenova, Kadaj? Can you still feel a pull to her now? Tell us because we need to know, remnant?" Tifa exclaimed loudly after hearing the quiet statement. She stood up in arms and all looked in shock at Kadaj. They had assumed that the boy had been disconnected from the alien torso.

"No, I am talking about my new mother, Aerith. You know her brother … er Cloud," the silver haired one looked at Cloud as processes the information. "She came to me days ago in a dream. A woman dressed in pink called Aerith told me that she would help me, now and told me about you Cloud."

The young blond looked at the prisoner in shock. He couldn't understand how the teen had met a woman that had been dead for years. Cloud looked into Kadaj's eyes searching for the slightest sign of falsehood. When he found none, he relaxed but a nervous energy hovered in his chest about the situation.

"He's telling the truth, Tifa. He has seen Aerith, but I don't know how," Cloud concluded to the lead investigator.

"This may change a few things now. If this is true, then there must be a good reason why Aerith would reveal herself to you," Tifa pondered out loud, " Please take him out to the hall while we discuss this new … development. Don't go too far, though."

The guards came forward and walked Kadaj out of the door nearest the cockpit. Kadaj saw Barton from before waiting outside of the door.

"Are they done already so soon? What is the verdict?" the lieutenant asked the two men that now accompanied Kadaj.

"No. They are taking a break and deciding what should be done with him now that the hero team has more information, Lieutenant." The guard on the left side addressed his superior as he held onto the detainee.

"Well, I guess you must be something else to change their minds now. Am I right, bright eyes?" Barton smiled as he jested with Kadaj, who smiled in return. The smile was more of a smirk, but it was better than the creepy smile from when he was under Sephiroth's influence.

The two guard men wore helmets, concealing their face from Kadaj. He stood up straight and waited for his judges to finish deciding his sentence. After waiting for ten minutes, Kadaj began to feel the weight chains again. Shifting on his feet, his impatience grew along with his mind's wanderings.

'_What is taking so long? What do they have to decide? If they are going to kill me, why is there delay?_' Kadaj debated with himself. As he searched for answers something dawned on him, _'I don't want to die. I want to live, but they are going to kill me or incarcerate me and I wouldn't call that living.'_

His pondering was interrupted with the doors behind him slid open. "We are ready now. Bring him," Cid stood in the doorway. His gruff face had an ambiguous expression, between disappointment and a warm smile. It did little to comfort the teen now.

They walked though the door and everyone was standing up. Kadaj then stood where he did before in front of Tifa.

"We have decided to give you a second chance because you had been brain washed by the evils of Shinra. You will be relocated to Edge where you did the most damage. There you will be living under our surveillance. With many of us already living there it will be easy to keep track of you."

Kadaj was shocked. They weren't going to execute him or imprison him?

"It would seem that all of damage you have done has dawned on you so, you will among those who you hurt and you will live like any other human there until you harm someone or a danger to others. We will not hesitate to eliminate the problem, understand?

His mouth hung open, slightly but Kadaj couldn't get it to come together. He was speechless. _'They are letting me go?_'

"I do, but I don't understand why. You would rather I live among you even though I have done so many thing that hurt you and others? That doesn't seem wise at all," Kadaj pondered out loud. He was so honestly confused about his 'sentence.' In hindsight, he regretted talking bad about the punishment, which could be turned into something more painful.

"Would you prefer we have shot or eat by wild dogs? No? Then stop complaining!" Yuffie huffed as she plopped down in front of Barret. Kadaj could tell she did not like him being let off the hook either. Looking around there were not many happy faces but there weren't any anger one either. Cloud looked toward him and shrugged his shoulders.

Kadaj bowed his head, "I will do as you ask. It's much better than I expected… thank you." Kadaj's head was in fog as he was sent to his cell again. All these things were happening so fast. How he come from a traveling mercenary to a prisoner being released on probation. What was mother going to say now?

* * *

I know that its been a ling time but I ran out of inspiration and the people in my life don't know about this secret vice of writing. I will not promise anything because I don't even now how tomorrow will go. Please review and be patient but if that not your forte, that's cool too.

BTW: MERRY CHRISTMAS!! ALL


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